Monthly Archives: January 2011

Cat’s of the Bunnies

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These are our cats. They are a bunch of lazy bastards, but then ain’t all cats?

Boris

We got Boris from someone we used to work with. I am too sober to remember their name right now or even how long ago we got Boris, though I am sure Mrs BadBadBunny will remind me the moment she reads this, but it was several years ago now. His previous owner called him Venus but we thought that was a bit gay so changed it to Boris.

Likes: Getting fur all over the settee. Having his arse bitten by George. Water from anywhere and everywhere.
Dislikes: Not being fed 24 hours a day
Special Skills: Not getting crap stuck on his fur around his arse any more. Sitting in places he should not be, breaking stuff to make room while doing so.
Appearing in multiple lolcat lols
Nicknames: Bollocks, Morris, Doris (and Venus when he has been really stupid and we want to embarrass him further)

Buxton

Buxton (Bucky for short) just arrived in the garden one day about 10 years ago and never left, so we adopted him. (Or he adopted us).

Likes: Eating everyone else’s food. Trying to take over my computer chair. Smacking the other cats with his big paw-fist. Having his whiskers rubbed. Talking.
Dislikes: Getting sat on when he is on my computer chair. Not being allowed to eat everyone else’s food.
Special Skills: Giving Hi-5’s and Hi-10’s. Standing upright on back legs. Giving you his paw when asked. Rolling over when told.
Nicknames: Bastard, You Bastard, STOP-THAT!, OI!, Fucky-Bucky
Video: Clicky Here

George

George was rescued from a local cat sanctuary. They showed us an area full of cats to adopt and George barged his way through all the others and stuck his paw in the air as if to say “me, me, take me”, so we did.

Likes: The settee. Fighting with us on the stairs. Sitting on top of the pigeon cage with them all pretending to be a pigeon.
Dislikes: The (nice) neighbours cat called Moos (Pronounced Moze, short for Moses).
Special Skills: Burping in your face. Nuzzling your chin and making it itch. Getting fatter. Giving you his paw when asked.
Nicknames: Gorgeous George, Sod, Fatso, Fat Lump, Lazy Lump

Lottie

We got Lottie from another ex-work colleague who had a baby and said she could not keep the cat as she was jealous of the baby and had started peeing over the babies things. Sounded like a bunch of crap but we were happy enough to adopt Lottie.

Likes: Getting me to refill the bowl of cat crunchies. Talking.
Dislikes: Her tail, she thinks its evil and fights with it a lot.
Special Skills: Being small but very heavy at the same time.
Nicknames: Dottie, Snotty, Itteh-Bitteh-Kitteh
Video: Clicky Here

Mhysy

Mhysy (pronounced my-see, means Little Girl in Dutch) is the oldest of the lot, she is about 18 years old, we rescued her from the cat sanctuary when she was about 6 years old. She must have had a bad start in life as she was scared to show herself for about two years and hid under the bed, settee etc, but gradually she relaxed and wanders about the house mostly normally now, though pretty much can’t stand to have the other cats near her, though lately actually tolerates them slightly when eating from the same bowl as her at the same time.
She is getting a bit stiff with age now and walks a bit like those fighting skeletons in the original Jason and the Argonauts movie (see video clip example here)

Likes: Her own private cat litter box in the garden. Taking things easy. Nagging for our food as we eat.
Dislikes: Practically everything.
Special Skills: Being old. Very visible long white claws. Trying to climb across the settee and failing. Never leaving the house/garden. Hot-air balloon impressions (hissing at the other cats).
Nicknames: Bitch

UPDATE: Unfortunately Mhysy died on Friday 18th March 2011.
She was quite old, 18 years, and she had only been checked out at the vet’s a couple of weeks ago as she had been losing a lot of weight suddenly, but the vet said she checked out OK, no illnesses he could find, he even tested her blood and found nothing wrong, he said she was basically as healthy as a kitten, but just old.
I was able to be with Mhysy when the time came and held her and comforted her as best i could up until the end.
She is now buried in our garden, and we have placed a nice plant called “Pieris japonica ‘Forest Flame'” on her grave as a tribute.

Mhysy's Grave

More pictures of these cute kitteh buggers can be found here

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One of our neighbours hates our cats Episode 1 – Cat Wars

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One of our neighbours hates our cats. Well, fuck the neighbour, we hate him too.
The cunt lives 3 doors up from us and actually has two cats of his own, but he never lets them leave the house.

Last year he came to the door whining that our cats were making a mess of his garden, but it was not really a problem as he was going to put pebbles all over his garden and said the cats would probably not like that so would not come back.
We countered by saying how does he know its our cats in his garden, ours rarely wander that far anyway. He randomly pointed to one of our cats and said “it was that one”, which turned out to be a different colour to one he had already accused earlier in the conversation.
Now, I am not the most easy going when it comes to confrontations like this. My first thought and feeling is fuck you and to attack, however Mrs BadBadBunny is the family diplomat so I generally leave “first contact” situations like this to her (at her own request most of the time), and she is right, she is good at calming things down.

Mrs BadBadBunny politely explained to him how cats work, that they generally come and go as they please and cannot really be controlled to stay out of a particular garden, and that we would not be keeping them indoors or getting rid of them because of this, but we would do what we could, such as putting extra cat litter boxes out for them. This seemed to satisfy him and that was the end of it for some time.

Some months later he came back, same complaint and got back basically the same answer. It was explained to him that not all of the cats in the neighbourhood belong to us and asked if he was really sure it was our cats? He was not sure and went away.

About eight months have passed since then, and tonight while we were eating and watching TV there was a knock at the door. Mrs BadBadBunny answers, and its two ladies who are apparently some kind of mediators for neighbour disputes, our cunt of a neighbour did not have the balls to come back to us to whine again, instead he contacted this mediation organization to see what they could do, they had already heard his side of the story and wanted to hear ours.
They were invited in and Mrs BadBadBunny explained it all to them, we have nothing to hide here. They seemed reasonable and understood what we were saying, so suggested that next week a meeting would be held at the local school near where we live where they, the neighbour and ourselves would be present to discuss this.

Personally I feel the neighbour can shove it up his arse, but it was agreed the meeting will take place on Wednesday 2nd February, though in the interests of a lack of shouting and swearing I am not going to be there, Mrs BadBadBunny will take care of it.

This suits me fine as I can go crap all over his garden while he is out.

Anyway, tonight has been a bad feeling night, we feel like we have had burglars in the house invading our lives. I would like to thank all our friends and re-tweeters on Twitter who had the patience to listen to us (me especially) rant on about this, and all of those who will have to put up with us going on about this tomorrow at work, thank you all.

We try to keep ourselves to ourselves, not complaining when any of the neighbours have their extremely loud parties, some of them actually lasting 3 days, all day and all night, we keep the peace in the interests of getting on with others, but this cunt really gets on my goat.

I will update this post next week after the meeting to say what happened.

*** UPDATE 2/2/2011 – Click here to read the next chapter ***

We dedicate Lily Allen’s song “Fuck You” to our neighbour!

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@Raymondstar – comedian & madman

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@Raymondstar is someone I met on Twitter. He is as mad as pants. He gets into all kinds of trouble such as being locked in cellars, locked in the toilets of McDonalds (not sure I want to know more about that one), falling into famous canals and getting lost in different countries. Late last year he won a bus trip to Germany and ended up somehow in Russia where he had to work as a barman/cocktail waiter to earn enough money to get home again.

Raymondstar falling into the Amstel canal in Amsterdam
Raymondstar

Raymondstar

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