One of our neighbours hates our cats Episode 1 – Cat Wars

One of our neighbours hates our cats. Well, fuck the neighbour, we hate him too.
The cunt lives 3 doors up from us and actually has two cats of his own, but he never lets them leave the house.

Last year he came to the door whining that our cats were making a mess of his garden, but it was not really a problem as he was going to put pebbles all over his garden and said the cats would probably not like that so would not come back.
We countered by saying how does he know its our cats in his garden, ours rarely wander that far anyway. He randomly pointed to one of our cats and said “it was that one”, which turned out to be a different colour to one he had already accused earlier in the conversation.
Now, I am not the most easy going when it comes to confrontations like this. My first thought and feeling is fuck you and to attack, however Mrs BadBadBunny is the family diplomat so I generally leave “first contact” situations like this to her (at her own request most of the time), and she is right, she is good at calming things down.

Mrs BadBadBunny politely explained to him how cats work, that they generally come and go as they please and cannot really be controlled to stay out of a particular garden, and that we would not be keeping them indoors or getting rid of them because of this, but we would do what we could, such as putting extra cat litter boxes out for them. This seemed to satisfy him and that was the end of it for some time.

Some months later he came back, same complaint and got back basically the same answer. It was explained to him that not all of the cats in the neighbourhood belong to us and asked if he was really sure it was our cats? He was not sure and went away.

About eight months have passed since then, and tonight while we were eating and watching TV there was a knock at the door. Mrs BadBadBunny answers, and its two ladies who are apparently some kind of mediators for neighbour disputes, our cunt of a neighbour did not have the balls to come back to us to whine again, instead he contacted this mediation organization to see what they could do, they had already heard his side of the story and wanted to hear ours.
They were invited in and Mrs BadBadBunny explained it all to them, we have nothing to hide here. They seemed reasonable and understood what we were saying, so suggested that next week a meeting would be held at the local school near where we live where they, the neighbour and ourselves would be present to discuss this.

Personally I feel the neighbour can shove it up his arse, but it was agreed the meeting will take place on Wednesday 2nd February, though in the interests of a lack of shouting and swearing I am not going to be there, Mrs BadBadBunny will take care of it.

This suits me fine as I can go crap all over his garden while he is out.

Anyway, tonight has been a bad feeling night, we feel like we have had burglars in the house invading our lives. I would like to thank all our friends and re-tweeters on Twitter who had the patience to listen to us (me especially) rant on about this, and all of those who will have to put up with us going on about this tomorrow at work, thank you all.

We try to keep ourselves to ourselves, not complaining when any of the neighbours have their extremely loud parties, some of them actually lasting 3 days, all day and all night, we keep the peace in the interests of getting on with others, but this cunt really gets on my goat.

I will update this post next week after the meeting to say what happened.

*** UPDATE 2/2/2011 – Click here to read the next chapter ***

We dedicate Lily Allen’s song “Fuck You” to our neighbour!


@Raymondstar – comedian & madman

@Raymondstar is someone I met on Twitter. He is as mad as pants. He gets into all kinds of trouble such as being locked in cellars, locked in the toilets of McDonalds (not sure I want to know more about that one), falling into famous canals and getting lost in different countries. Late last year he won a bus trip to Germany and ended up somehow in Russia where he had to work as a barman/cocktail waiter to earn enough money to get home again.

Raymondstar falling into the Amstel canal in Amsterdam


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Blocked on Twitter by Matt Lucas

I just realised that Matt Lucas (of Little Britain and Come Fly With Me fame) has blocked me on Twitter.  (His Twitter name is @realmattlucas).

I am a bit narked about this as I did not harass him or anything and occasionally posted a nice reply to some of his posts. Back at the start of Come Fly With Me I did send him a tweet to say I didn’t think much of the new series, it was not really as funny as I expected, but this was likely lost in the many other tweets he no doubt gets all the time.

After watching Come Fly With Me episode 3 however I had seen the show really improve and get into its groove, it had gotten a bit more sarcastic and funny in my opinion, so I tweeted Matt Lucas a short message to say this to him.

I didn’t think anything more about it, then this week went to watch the latest episode and realised I had not seen any tweets appear from him on my timeline, so I checked my following list and saw he was not on it. Hmmm, strange I thought, but shit happens, maybe Twitter or myself had messed up, so searched for his name and clicked the FOLLOW button, only to see a message that he had blocked me.

Well, what a tosser, my opinion of him has certainly changed. If it is an honest mistake or even Twitter error then fair enough, so if Matt Lucas cares enough he can unblock me and let me know, otherwise as far as I am concerned he and his TV series can rot in hell, until he tells me otherwise I shall simply consider him a complete twat.